


Dean on the Pole

by Deansimpallagrl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clubbing, Coming Untouched, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester First Time, Drunk Sam Winchester, Falling In Love, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Hangover, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Pole Dancing, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Sam Winchester, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 04:46:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13563117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deansimpallagrl/pseuds/Deansimpallagrl
Summary: Sam Wesson and Dean Winchester are long time friends.  When Sam learns Dean’s secret life will they still be friends?





	1. The Club

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trixieann74](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixieann74/gifts), [Usagili](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usagili/gifts).



> This one is not edited/beta all my own mistakes. Thanks to the ladies in my Wincest writers group for this prompt!!

Sam Wesson is not really an adventurous guy but sometimes he will take a chance if it means getting laid. His boring desk job taking help desk calls numbs his mind. On his off hours he goes out to dinner and a movie but never to the place he is going now. 

Sam’s good friend Cas invited him to go to this hot gay club. Sam has always kept his sexual preferences in the shadows because he likes a quiet life. He isn’t ashamed, but he really doesn’t want to deal with assholes, well at least the ones that talk. 

Walking in he is kind of impressed. It looks immaculate, clean and with soft lighting. The bar area looks old fashioned with the brass fixtures and gleaming polished dark wood. A few very hot bartenders hand out drinks and lots of smiles. The ceiling and walls are also done in lighter golden wood with beautiful paintings on them. The wooden floor just finishes the look of gleaming beauty. The windows are floor to ceiling with dark green velvet curtains held back with golden ropes with tassels. The few tables scattered around are marble topped in white and the high-backed chairs have red velvet accents as well. The amazing rugs like the art on the walls is perfect and handsome. This place just feels like home to Sam. He is relaxed and the music coming from the next room, where the dance floor pulses, is muted but inviting. The open door to the dance floor shows some flashing lights and writhing bodies in the dark. It seems like quite a contrast to this entrance room but maybe they just cater to many different tastes and that is intriguing to Sam.

“So, Sam what do you think so far?” Cas is grinning from ear to ear and watching Sam’s face knowing he loves it already. 

“Cas this is amazing! When you said club, I assumed new age bar with crowded dance floor and the same old boring back rooms. This is beautiful. I am curious to see the dance area it seems so different from this.” Sam keeps peeking through the door ignoring Cas’s sly smile and a wave to a few other friends here.

“Well why don’t you investigate it then Mr. Curiosity. I see a few friends I want to say hi to. I will see you around.” Cas winks and sashays off towards a group of young men in the corner at a table by the window.

Sam shakes his head watching Cas go. This is one of his more fun and strange friends. Cas seems to find amazing people and places wherever he goes. Sam is glad he brought him here. He heads to the bar to get a drink and work up the courage for the next room. He raises a hand to one of the bartenders and waits for them to get to him leaning on the bar with one foot up on the brass railing.

“Hey handsome what can I get you?” A young and hot redheaded bartender with the most stunning brown eyes is giving him a grin and leaning a little in his personal space.

“Can I get a draft beer please? Whatever you have on tap is fine.” Sam smiles but as soon as his back is turned it falls. He doesn’t like forward guys, but he is just the bartender so nothing to worry about. He keeps looking through the door to the dance floor and still can’t tell what is going on. The bartender sets down his beer and walks away. Sam notices and puts down a $20 to cover the tip and takes a sip. A voice at his elbow startles him.

“Hey there! Are you new here?” The silky voice matches the silky-smooth man. His black hair is perfect no hair out of place slicked back with lots of product and skin glowing. His blue eyes were like ice and Sam was wondering what was wrong with him that he had to look so perfect on the outside.

“Yes, I was brought by a friend.” Sam gave him a tight smile and looked over to see if Cas might come and save him. Cas sees his pleading eyes and starts to make his way over.

“What a good friend. I do hope he isn’t a friend with benefits?” He winks and slides a hand over to Sam’s arm to test the waters. That is when Cas slides up and hearing the last part slips an arm around Sam’s shoulders.

“Hello Jack. I see you have met Sam. I suggest you take your tired game elsewhere he is here with me.” Cas was smiling but his voice was irritated enough to draw a bartender’s eye for a moment.

“Well it was nice to talk to you Sam I am sure I will see you around.” He nods and as he turns gives a burning evil eye to Cas and stalks off.

“Thanks Cas, sorry if I interrupted you but he felt like a stalker guy. I was not getting a good vibe.”

“No problem I would have come over even if I didn’t see your help me look. Jack is a total asshole. He likes to get the new people before they hear about the fact he beats his boyfriends. He likes to look perfect to hide his insecurities. I don’t know why they let him in. I guess that if he spends money they will take it.” Cas sighs and starts walking Sam to the door to the dance floor.

“Let’s get you where the magic happens.” Cas winks at Sam as he slips him through the door.

Sam is hit first by how bright the strobe lights were compared to the darkness around him. He feels bodies moving but he can’t see. Then as he gets further in he sees the black lights and other colored lights on the dance floor. Some were dancing but most of them were watching the three small stages at the edges with half naked dancers around poles. Sam’s jaw dropped to his chest. They were all in tight briefs that really wasn’t hiding much. It was kind of hypnotic. They looked like they were dancing in the air. The stages were black and the poles clear lit from below with different colors. 

Sam walked closer to see the nearest dancer better. He was tall, and his body was not ripped but it was beautiful. His ability to climb the pole and then hang from it was almost acrobatic. His broad shoulders were muscled but not too many muscles. His lower back slid into the most amazing butt Sam had seen in a long time. The material clung to his butt like skin and the curves were accented. His curves were muscled and amazing like a sculpture. His thighs and calves were perfectly proportioned and showed off the same useful muscled but not gym rat like. Sam was so busy cataloging this hotty, he didn’t know Cas was watching him chuckling to himself.

“Sam, I got to go back to my friends enjoy yourself and remember to shut your mouth at some point.” Cas yelled loud enough to be heard but Sam only heard part of it as his brain was confused. He nods to Cas and then goes back to this hot guy and his face when he comes around the pole again. 

This face is familiar. The glow from the pole makes it hard to see. The guy swings around again and he loses sight of his face. He starts walking toward the stage and pole for a closer look as pieces of this puzzle are falling into place. He barely feels the shoulders and hands brush over him as he stares at the dancer. The flashing lights he is used to but the glow on the dancer’s face is throwing him off. 

He is getting closer and as the dancer hangs upside down again it hits Sam like a ton of bricks. His shock must be plain on his face because the dancer almost falls off the pole. Sam backs up a step and his brain is warring with itself. This can’t be right. His best friend is straight, and he couldn’t be this hot right?! No way he just can’t be. He whispers to himself.

“Dean fucking Winchester?!” He turns and walks out to the bar. He needed a lot more drinks to process this. As he comes through the door he squints at the brighter light but still makes it to the bar. The same redhead comes over with a very strange look.

“Are you ok Sir? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” His face is washed with concern not his flirty persona.

“I am just confused is all. Can I have a whiskey neat double please?” Sam is pale, and he is looking away at nothing his brain frozen.

“Right away and my name is Eric if you need anything.” Sam nods automatically but still can’t stop his brain from imploding.

His BEST friend Dean has always been the quiet nerdy type. They have known each other since childhood and they were really brothers at heart. They studied together all the time through school. Sam was great at math and Dean with science. Sometimes they only had to look at each other to communicate no speaking necessary. 

How can this person he has known for 20 years hide a secret this big? It doesn’t matter that he seems to be gay because that does not bother Sam. What bothers him is how on earth did he not know he danced like that mostly naked. 

The worst part of all is that Sam is so turned on right now and his raging boner is proof. He realizes he better stand near to the bar railing for cover. WOW Dean is so fucking hot. How did he not ever notice that? 

He sees the whiskey in front of him and doesn’t remember seeing Eric drop it off. He shakes his head and downs half of it in one gulp wincing at the burn. He drinks the other half a couple minutes later and feels his head getting light. 

“Hey Sam? Is that your name?” Sam looks up and sees Eric hovering.

“Yes, it is.” He is wooden and not sure what to do next.

“Do you need a cab? You don’t look too steady and I don’t want you to get in an accident.” Sam truly looks around and at Eric. He is the only one here and there are 2 other glasses that joined the first one. He is in a mostly empty room swaying with a very concerned bartender.

“Oh no my friend brought me I might sit down though.” Sam weaves over to a table with a chair and finds Eric at his elbow helping him sit.

“Ok Sam can I find your friend for you?” 

“No not yet I need to go back to the dance floor. I have to talk to Dean.” Sam starts to rise but as the room spins he plops back in the chair.

“Nope I think you need to tell me your friends name, so we can get you home or get you a bucket.” Eric smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He is projecting worry from his pores.

“Cas my friend Cas and a bucket too.” Sam has his eyes closed so he doesn’t embarrass himself but that bucket he was serious about. He feels a hand on his elbow but does not dare open his eyes.

“Sam sweetie you ok?!” It’s Cas’s voice so he sighs his ride will get him home. He still won’t open his eyes.

“Nope not ok. Where is the bucket?” Sam is pretty sure he can hang on till home but better to be safe than sorry.

“Sam no need for that yet but let’s get you to the car. I already got it to the doors for you Eric was very worried. I settled your tab for you as well.” Cas walks him to the door and thanks Eric quickly after he closes the car door.

“Thanks Eric I owe you!” Cas waves and runs to the driver’s door hoping his car will not be full of vomit soon.

The drive home did not contain any vomiting as Sam passed out before he drove away from the club. Cas wakes Sam gently and gets him out heading for his house and unfortunately for Sam he only makes it to his rosebushes before losing the alcohol in his stomach. Cas waits until he is done then takes him inside and cleans him up and gets him in to bed. 

He puts a glass of water and some aspirin beside the bed and then goes to the couch. He will not leave his friend alone when he might need help. Cas gets comfy on the couch and wonders why in the world Sam got this smashed. He didn’t look like he had any fun but for him to drink whiskey Cas knows it must be something bad. The last time Sam got that drunk was when he had a bad breakup and that is when Cas met Sam for the first time. It was very similar to this night drinking wise, but Cas was just a concerned stranger and Sam was a very chatty drunk. Cas made sure to stay with Sam that night too. He got him breakfast and they talked for a while about why Sam got drunk and it turned into a friendship from there. They met up once a month or so to go out and hang out. Cas has never let him forget about that first night. This night though has Cas worried. He has never seen Eric so concerned. And from what he told him Sam had ordered way too much alcohol too quickly while being out of it. Cas cannot imagine what could make Sam that upset that quickly.


	2. The morning after

Sam is dreaming, and it is a familiar dream. It is the day he met Dean. He was out riding his bike and he decided to jump off when his foot was near the chain. He didn’t like to wear shoes so when he leaped his toe got caught in the chain and ripped a huge chunk of flesh out. Sam is laying on the grass screaming and holding his toe. He is 6 years old and his dad is not home. His mom died when he was young, but he knows how to take care of himself. As he is trying hard to figure out how to fix this mess an older boy of 10 runs up from a nearby house.

“Hey kid what’s wrong?” 

“My t t toe. I hurt it bad.”

Dean looks and pulls out a rag from his pocket wrapping it up.

“What’s your name?”

“Sam.”

“Mine is Dean. Ok Sam hold this rag on your toe as hard as you can I will be right back.”

Dean runs to his house and gets his Dad. 

“Hey Sam, my name is John. Can I help you get your toe fixed?” Sam nods with tears in his eyes as Dean looks on worried.

“Ok Sam I am taking the rag off so hold still for me.” John sees the chunk of skin and it isn’t deep or in need of stitches, so he turns to Dean.

“Son we are going to take him home and get him fixed up. Grab his bike and follow me.” John picks up Sam in his arms and walks to his house. They take Sam in and bandage him up while Dean talks a mile a minute about cars. He describes his dad’s car a 1967 Chevy Impala. He keeps Sam distracted. John gets done and gives him a wink.

“All better huh Sam?”

“Yes, Sir thank you.”

“No problem where do you live son?” 

“Just 4 houses down on this side Sir.”

“Oh, you are Bobby Wesson’s boy. Ok I know your dad is out, so you can play with Dean until later when he gets back ok?”

“Thank you, Sir!” Sam is excited to play with the older boy he doesn’t have many friends.

“Hey Sammy, you want to see the car?” Dean is so excited Sam nods and follows him to the garage. This dream is so comforting to Sam.

 

Sam wakes up in a lot of pain. He manages to get up and puke in the toilet. He lays on the floor wishing he were dead. His head is throbbing like an aching tooth and all he can do is brush his teeth before he stumbles towards his kitchen.

“Good Morning Sunshine!” Cas is way too cheery for how Sam is feeling. He groans and falls into a chair putting his head on the kitchen table.

“I see we are not feeling very well today. Why don’t you tell good old Cas what made you drink that much?” Cas is making scrambled eggs and bacon. Sam is glad he already puked.

“All I remember is seeing Dean Winchester dancing on a pole and the rest is a blur.” Sam is rubbing his temple as he talks.

“Didn’t see your aspirin and water this morning?” Cas walks into the bedroom and brings them to Sam. Sam mumbles thanks and takes the medicine.

“So, spill it mister. What made you down like a half a bottle of whiskey?” Cas finishes getting breakfast ready and puts the plates down on the table and smiles at Sam.

“Dean is one of my oldest and best friends. We are like brothers. I thought he was a nerdy straight guy. I have never imagined him like that. He is good looking I know that, but I always thought he was off limits. Not that I would date him but just that someone I know so well has that big of a secret.” His mind is still circling the fact that his friend is hot and gay. That is the reason for the drinking. He saw Dean in a new way and it made him hot for someone he has known for so long.

“Oh, that is interesting. I can’t imagine having someone be such a close friend hiding that kind of secret. Did he tell you he was straight, or did you just assume?”

Sam thought about that and the frown lines in his brow went deep as he went over their time together. In all that time he saw Dean around girls, but he didn’t talk about girlfriends. It just never occurred to Sam to ask him.

“I did not ask, and it never came up. We would hang out but always like a guy’s night out. So maybe like me he didn’t want to answer questions or deal with the prejudice.” Sam feels like he might have the answer he was looking for. He doesn’t think Dean saw him in the dark dance floor, so he will call him to see if he can talk to him.

“Well that might be your answer. Talk to him instead of drinking it is much safer and healthier. Do you want me to stick around after breakfast?” Cas is almost done and if he is not needed he needs a shower and some sleep.

“No Cas thank you so much for helping me. I am sorry that you had to come to my rescue again.” Sam gives Cas his full dimples in a ray of sunshine that is his smile. 

“Alright then I will take my stinky self back home and get some rest. Call Dean please!” Cas gives Sam a quick hug and hurries out into the sunshine and on to his home. He is getting too old for this.

Sam eats a little more then dumps it in the garbage. His stomach is holding it in for now, but he thinks eating more would be pushing his luck. He heads off for a nice hot shower and to think on what he might want to say to Dean.

Meanwhile across town in Dean’s house…

“Holy shit what am I going to do?” Dean is pacing his living room floor talking to his friend Tom.

“Calm down Dean it is not the end of the world.” Tom sighs and watches Dean pace wishing he could get his friend to stop freaking out.

“Not the end of the world but maybe a friendship. He is my oldest friend and I know he is gay, but I just never thought of him going to a club. I mean he is a homebody and really doesn’t do much. I thought this secret was safe.” Dean is imaging Sam thinking he is a freak and wanting to never speak to him again. He loves Sam deeply and he does not want to lose him.

“Secrets are never safe if you dance on a pole. You love doing that and I don’t think he will mind. What did he do that has you upset?”

“He looked like he would pass out from shock. I almost fell off the pole. Then he disappeared. I found out after closing that he drank enough to be driven home by another friend of his. I know that man and he does not drink often and certainly not to that level.” Dean can still see in his mind Sam’s face full of confusion and panic.

“That is kind of an extreme reaction. The good news is he didn’t look angry from what you said. I think if he looked angry you might have a problem, but the shock might just be from something else. Have you two dated in the past?” 

“No, we have not. He has always thought I was straight and I didn’t tell him otherwise. He is an amazing friend and I don’t want him to see me differently. I have never come out officially. I told my parents, but they knew anyway. Other than that, my friends have never really asked and those that did I told the truth. I also have had a major crush on him for a very long time.” Dean smiles when he thinks of the moment when they were teenagers that they touched, and electricity seemed to zip through his body at the contact of their hands. He had even jerked off to thoughts of kissing Sam. He loved the friendship and didn’t want to ruin it, so he never said a word.

“Wow then I guess maybe you are holding a torch that might start a beautiful fire my friend. You need to explain about your job and your sexual identity to this friend. Don’t let someone this important to you get the wrong idea and bolt from your life.” Tom gives Dean a big hug.

“Thank you for listening to me rant. I will give him a call, but he might need some time to recover from what must be a pretty epic hangover.” Dean feels a little better, but the worrying will not stop in the back of his mind. Tom heads out to get to his job at the club. He was another bartender there, but he remembers Sam and wow is he hot. Dean has great taste.


	3. A week later

Sam is pacing in his bedroom with his cell in his hand. He can’t dial Dean’s number. He doesn’t know how to talk to him about this. He is mumbling and pacing when his phone rings. He jumps then stares at it in horror. It is Dean calling.

“Hello, Dean?” He is panting straining to hear a voice.

“Hey Sammy. I uh guess we need to talk. Can I come over?” Dean is squeezing his eyes shut holding his breath.

“Uh, well sure. I am not feeling great but come on over.” Sam is mentally cataloging what he has to have cleaned in the next few minutes, so he doesn’t hear Dean’s sigh of happiness.

“Ok good I will be there in 20.” 

“Sounds good.” They both hang up and Sam turns into a whirlwind of picking up and cleaning surfaces. He doesn’t want Dean to think he is a slob.

Dean is trying on outfits. Now that he is going nothing looks right. He is tossing shirt after shirt on his bed not liking any of them. Too flirty, too old, too ugly. He is getting frustrated until he runs into a special shirt and looks at it in the mirror his mind going back to when he got it.

15 years ago….

Sam and Dean are headed to a concert but not just any concert a Tool concert. They both love the band and have been listening since the album Aenima was released. They love the energy and the lead singer is amazingly talented and hot. They are both so excited that they have a hard time waiting to get to the concert. 

Dean drove them in the impala he had waxed to a shine. After safely parking it they hurried into the arena. As soon as they got in the arena they bought shirts. They put them on over their current shirts and proudly wore them that night. 

It was a kind of an amazing night. They sang along and jumped around bouncing off each other in a mini mosh pit. They screamed themselves hoarse that night. Sam stayed at Dean’s house because it was late, and they were exhausted. Dean was still wired and after Sam was asleep he watched him and was falling deeply in love. The relaxed sleeping face of Sam was like an angel to Dean’s eyes. Dean imagined them going to a club and dancing together so close. He could smell Sam’s earthy scent. He popped a boner about that time and sneaked to the bathroom to jerk off so that Sam didn’t see him if he woke up. He whispered Sam’s name reverently as he came. That night will always be in his memory.

 

The present

Dean grins as he puts on the t-shirt and some jeans. He finally gets to Sam’s but he is beginning to shiver from nerves. He takes a few deep breaths and gets out of his car to head to Sam’s door. He is trying hard to look confident so that he doesn’t spook Sam. He raises his hand but as he brings his hand down the door jerks inwards and Sam is standing there with the biggest fake smile ever.

“Hey Dean, so nice to see you. Come on in!” Sam steps back out of the way and tries hard not to imagine Dean in only his underwear dancing against a pole. His heart is pounding and his palms are sweaty. He bounces from foot to foot while waiting for Dean to speak. 

“Hey Sam, I am glad you let me come over we need to talk.” Dean walks in and goes straight for the couch but he can't sit down. He starts to pace from the edge of the couch to the hallway and back then stops looking at Sam still at the doorway. Sam is so handsome and especially when he is nervous. How on earth does he tell Sam the truth?

“About what Dean?” His voice is high pitched, and he still hasn’t shut the door. Dean’s frown makes him look around. Sam shakes his head as he shuts the front door. He goes to the couch and sits on the edge watching Dean pacing back and forth his brows furrowed. Sam is bouncing a knee up and down in full on panic.

“Well I think we both know that we saw each other last weekend. I should have shared with you my side job, but I don’t really like to tell anyone about it.” Dean is blushing red and he can’t stop pacing. He can remember seeing Sam's face in the crowd his mouth wide with surprise. 

Sam watches him and wants to stand up and hug him so bad his hand's itch and his arms ache. He doesn't want Dean to be nervous but he still doesn't know what Dean will tell him.

“Ok, here goes, I started to workout at a place that has pole dancing as an exercise class. I really enjoyed it and was good at it. I was approached by a gentleman that owns that club. He said he wanted dancers just as eye-catchers, not strippers. That is the only reason I considered it. I am not there to be objectified but to be an art piece.” Dean sees in his mind's eye the tall older gentleman that spoke to him about the job. He was polite and sincere with Dean so he felt the job was legit. He was so pleased the first time he walked into the club and saw the dance floor. He knew he had found a place he could be himself and enjoy getting paid for it. Dean suddenly stops speaking he is standing still staring at the front door with a frown on his face. He feels like this was a big mistake and maybe he should just go home and hide.

“Dean, I don’t really need you to explain yourself I am just fine with what you were doing. It was just sudden and surprising.” Sam realizes that Dean is not hearing him, so he gets up off the couch and goes to Dean standing by the hallway staring at the front door. Sam takes his shoulders in his hands trying to turn him to get his attention.

“Dean, what is wrong? Did you hear me?” Dean shakes himself out of his thoughts as he feels the warm strong hands on him. He stares into Sam’s eyes as electricity seems to be sliding over his skin. He feels tingly and warm and his brain cannot process anything beyond the thought of KISS HIM.

“Sam, I uh did not hear you. Sorry I drifted off there.” Dean is captivated by Sam's beautiful eyes. His brain is still screaming to KISS HIM!!! 

“I said you don’t have to explain yourself I am just fine with your side job. I was just surprised is all.” Sam backs up a few steps while holding on to Dean. He was meaning to get Dean to sit down but his calves hit the couch and cause him to start falling backward. Dean falls with him as Sam still has a hold of him. They end up half on the couch with Dean on top of Sam in a tangle of long arms and legs. They stare lips only inches from each other and the magnetic pull is so strong. Dean closes his eyes and feels Sam’s breath on his face.

“Dean, why didn’t you tell me you were gay?” Sam’s voice is soft, and his heart is thumping against Dean’s chest. Dean is wrapped in the earthy scent of Sam and feels like this is heaven.

“Oh Sam, I couldn’t because I have a bigger secret.” Dean gets up off Sam and walks toward the door. If he doesn’t leave now he will make the biggest mistake of his life. He can't tell Sam he loves him. That might be too much and he can't lose this friendship.

“Sam, I have to go. I will see you later.” Dean speaks with his back to Sam and opens the door without turning around.

“Wait! Dean…” Sam calls to him but doesn’t get off the couch. He was so close to Dean and kissing him would have been so natural. What would it be like if he was able to kiss him? Would Dean kiss back? Maybe Dean sensed how he feels and ran. How can he just find out that Dean is gay like him and then he runs off before they can explore these feelings. He feels like his world just tilted and everything is sliding towards the huge hole that appeared in the ground. He hears the roar of the Impala’s engine as it speeds away.

“What the fuck just happened?” Sam asks the empty room as he tries to get up. He marches straight to the kitchen and pulls out his hidden bottle of whiskey. He does not really drink much but he keeps this one for emergency purposes. He picks up his phone as he takes a swig straight from the bottle. Drinking away this problem seems like the best way to forget how Dean might not want him.

“Cass, man I need your help, please. Can you come over?” Sam closes his eyes and takes another drink.

“Not such a good talk huh? Well give me about 20 minutes and I will come over.” Cas hangs up and grins. Looking over to his roommate he gives a thumbs up.  
“Alright Anna first part of the plan is going smoothly. Now if only I can give them the right motivations we can be done with this assignment.” He is so proud of himself for creating this world. He is glad that Anna agreed to help him. She has been a good friend.

“Remember not to be too forceful we need this to be their idea or this was all for nothing.” She is hopeful but knows from her time as a human that there are a lot of different choices and people don’t always make the right ones. Cas nods and hurries up to change out of his trench coat into more modern clothes.


	4. Drunk again

Sam is about halfway through the bottle and close to passing out when he hears a knock at the door. He yells what he thinks is come in but more of an incoherent mumble. The next thing he knows Cas is standing in front of him taking the bottle from his hands.

“You no mine Cas.” He makes a weak grab to get it back but lays back and closes his eyes again. His head lolling on the back of the cool leather couch.

“Ok Sam, you need to have some coffee and food in that order.” Cas heads to the kitchen and pours the rest of the whiskey down the sink before starting a pot of coffee. He digs in the fridge and puts together a basic ham sandwich just to get something in Sam’s stomach. He keeps peeking in the living room and Sam is in the same place almost asleep, but his face is a mask of pain. He moans and reaches out to no one. Cas can’t understand him, so he goes closer while the coffee is brewing.

“Please, Dean don’t go, love you, Dean.” Sam is whispering but the agony on his face makes Cas wince and worry about what he had started. He reaches out and gently shakes Sam.

“Sam come in to the kitchen have a seat. I made you a sandwich and coffee is brewing.” 

“No Cas leave me alone.”

“Sam either get up or I will carry you!” The command in Cas’s tone has Sam’s eyes opening and glaring at him.

“Fine bossy guy.” He makes three attempts at standing and ends up on his side on the couch. Cas finally grabs him by the arm gets him up and to a kitchen chair. Sam is frowning at Cas.

“Why did you take me there? Why did you make me feel things?” Sam is clutching his chest as if his heart is something he can massage to stop hurting. 

“Oh Sam, I just wanted to take you out for a good time. I am sorry man.” Cas reaches out and pats Sam on the back then turns to get the sandwich and pour the coffee. He takes time to add sugar and cream to the coffee stirring while he thinks of how to proceed. Sam is hurting and if he is could Dean be too? This might be a mistake he never wanted pain for these men. He puts the food and coffee in front of Sam and sits.

“Cas, thanks for taking care of me.” Sam takes a drink of coffee and closes his eyes. He feels the warmth of the coffee and the caffeine is starting to work through his system. He drinks some more and sees Dean’s emerald eyes so close to him his soft full lips so close and kissable. He moans out loud and takes another sip. 

“You need to eat too Sam. Just try and concentrate on getting sober. I need to let my roommate know I will be here for a bit.” Cas pats Sam’s shoulder and Sam nods going back to his coffee. 

Cas walks back to Sam’s bedroom, so he is far enough away Sam can’t hear him. He dials a number and waits.

“Hey! Cas, what do you need?” Dean is confused. Cas is a friend but not one that calls him very often.

“Well Dean I am with Sam and he is drunk yet again. I need to know how to help him I am worried about him.” Cas is smiling and waiting for the patented Dean Winchester to the rescue speech.

“Oh uhm, I don’t think I know how to help.” Cas is stunned. This is not how his friend behaves.

“You are his oldest and best friend. I know you are the best one to help. I can’t spend the rest of my life in his house sobering him up all the time.” 

“I know but I was there earlier and I think that is what caused this. I don’t want to make it worse.” Dean is worried and wants to run to Sam, but he really doesn’t want to make this worse. 

“Trust me you won’t make this worse. I think you are the only one who can make this better. Please I really can’t stay here all night again.” Cas is worried that Dean will resist. They must get together.

“Damnit Cas, Fine if you can’t help I will. Give me 20 minutes to get there.” Dean hangs up and sighs. He doesn’t know if he can do this. Sam is so vulnerable but why did he get drunk again? He said he didn’t mind the dancing. Dean gets dressed in his clothes and grabs his keys Sammy needs him.


	5. Revelation

Cas heads for the kitchen worried but hopeful. Sam is eating his sandwich and already poured himself another cup of coffee.

“Getting better Sam?” 

“Yeah, I couldn’t find the whiskey, so I guess this is best.” Sam sounds so sad and lost. Cas goes back to sit opposite him.

“Sam, I don’t know what made you do this yet again, but I am here if you need to talk.” Cas and his earnest blue eyes convince Sam to talk.

“Dean called me and came over to talk. He said he was sorry about not telling me about the dancing. I said I didn’t care. He kind of spaced out and next thing I know we are laying on the couch like we could kiss, and he says he has a bigger secret. Then he bolts out the door. What did he mean?” Sam is staring into his coffee cup his eyes are far away remembering something from long ago.

10 years ago, …

Sam went to get Dean from his apartment for a clubbing Saturday night. He is in his tightest jeans and shirt ready for a good time. Dean comes out in his worn jeans and his Tool t-shirt looking hot as hell. Sam remembers that concert and loves to see Dean in it.

“Hey, you are looking like you could break some hearts tonight Dean.” Sam is smiling his dimples on display.

“You too man! Where are we off to?” Dean with a devilish gleam to his eyes. 

“I thought we could hit Purgatory tonight. So many hotties there.” Sam chose it because it reminded him of a dangerous place in a dream.

“Ok just as long as we have fun.” Dean frowns for a second as he hears the name, but his smile is back as Sam flashes his dimples again.

“No doubt brother.” They park and head into the club. The music is so loud there is no way to talk. The thumping of the bass can be felt in your bones. The strobing lights makes it look like a war zone. The colored lights help illuminate so you can see where you are walking. The sweaty masses of bodies writhing, and swaying is intoxicating. The smell of heated skin mixed with alcohol flows over you like a wave. The music moves the people along. Sam and Dean ride the waves of humanity sliding against each other and the bodies around them. A couple approaches through the crush of bodies. 

A redhead girl all curves and red lipped smile heads for Dean. A dark-haired man a little shorter but muscled, slides up to Sam. Dean smiles at the woman but looks to Sam. He can read in his eyes a question. He thought it meant, can I? He thinks now maybe it was Help me? The couple tries to separate them from each other and they let them but keep their eyes on each other. It was the first time Sam remembers feeling like separation from Dean was bad. He didn’t like the woman trying to dance with Dean. He saw Dean going through the motions, but his eyes never sparkled like they do when he talks to Sam. 

Sam sees the woman start touching Dean’s chest and a growl rumbled in his chest. He couldn’t hear it above the music, but he was startled. Why would he be so possessive of his friend? He managed to break lose from the guy and get to Dean just as the woman gave him a dirty look and moved back to her partner. Sam looked at Dean then tipped his head to the door. Dean nodded with relief in his eyes and they headed out into the cool night where a mist was lightly falling. It pricked their skin like needles after the heat of the club. 

“Wow that was intense man I think I need a regular bar for a drink now. You up for that?” Sam was overheated still and wanted a way to interact with Dean without the sexual undertones of dancing.

“Sure, man I need a beer.” Dean was happy again and as the wet mist made his skin sparkle like diamonds Sam was falling hard. They headed off on foot to the nearest bar and spent the evening talking about their lives. They enjoyed that much more than the club. When Sam drops Dean off he feels fuzzy and light headed. He wants so bad to kiss him, but his head says don’t embarrass yourself he isn’t gay. Dean looks at him for a minute and then climbs out leaning back in before closing the door.

“Thanks man it was a great night. Let’s agree not to go clubbing anymore it was not our scene anymore.”

“I agree I think bars are the way to go. See you later.” Dean closes the door and waves and turns for his door. Sam watches him go inside and he sighs wishing he had dared to kiss Dean.

 

Now...

Sam shakes off the memory and realizes he loves Dean and it doesn’t matter what happens he has to express it. He must have the courage to say it even if everything is over. He can’t let this fester in his heart any more. The ache is always there, and he can’t deny it any more. The bigger question is has Dean been harboring the same feelings? Is that his secret?

“Sam, are you ok?” Cas is touching his hand his face a mixture of fear and worry.

“Yes, I am I just remembered something important. I need to talk to Dean.” Sam is beginning to get up when he hears the sound that makes his heart speed up. The roar of the Impala makes him panic. He runs for his room shutting the door.

“Wait Sam?! What are you doing?” Cas runs down the hall thoroughly confused. Sam just said he wanted to talk to Dean.

“I can’t not like this. He can’t be here I am a total fucking mess. Tell him to go home.” Sam is digging through his clothes because he knows Cas would do nothing of the sort. He must look at least presentable quickly.

Cas shakes his head and goes to the front door. He opens it just after he hears Dean’s knock.

“Cas? Where is Sam?” He looks past Cas and doesn’t see him. Pushing past Cas, he looks in the kitchen and then heads to the bedroom. Cas trails along behind him trying to tell him to stop.

“Dean, DEAN! He is trying to feel better why don’t you just come back to the living room please?”

“Is he ok?”

“Yes, he just went back to go to the bathroom just come sit let him get composed.” Cas is physically turning Dean to walk back up the hall. Dean goes but his face is full of emotions, fear, love, anger, worry. Cas knows how Dean can be so if he can just distract him Sam can get ready for this moment.

“I don’t like this Cas he is drinking because of me. I just don’t know what to do.” Dean sits on the couch with his head in his hands trying to organize his flying thoughts.

“Don’t worry Dean he needs to talk to you and I think he needs a moment to prepare.” Cas walks to the door.

“I do not need to be here for this but call me if you need any more help.” After walking out Cas stops and goes invisible teleporting back into the living room. This must work he doesn’t want to fail at this assignment.

Dean is staring at the door and doesn’t hear Sam walking up. Sam has dressed in sweats and his tool t-shirt.

“Hey Dean.” Sam gives him a sad smile. Dean knows this is Sam leading up to something he thinks is necessary but painful. 

“Sam, please talk to me.” Dean’s eyes so full of shadows of all his feelings for Sam. Sam sits down next to Dean looking at the floor.

“Dean I don’t know what to do but say it plainly. I love you so much.” Sam stares at the floor. He is holding his breath and watching Dean’s face out of the corner of his eye.

“Sam, I.. I…can’t believe this.” Dean is pausing trying to keep from crying or throwing up. This has been such a huge part of him for so long he is having trouble processing. He doesn’t see the pain in Sam’s eyes.

“I know but I had to share it because if I didn’t I would die. I have had this in my heart for so long and I buried it because I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. I promise not to bother you but please don’t hate me.” Sam is already on his feet walking to his bedroom. He walks past the statue that Dean has become. 

When the door shuts the noise seems to wake up Dean and he looks around in shock and horror. Sam is gone. Where did he go? Dean’s brain plays back the previous conversation and he realizes that Sam thinks he rejected him. 

He jumps up and runs down the hall opening the door and freezing as he sees Sam on his knees weeping hard. Dean grabs him and lifts him up holding him tight and using his shirt wipes away the tears. Sam realizes he is being held and looks up wide eyed at Dean who is crying too. 

“Please Sam I love you. I can’t live another second without you.” Dean doesn’t let more than a second pass before planting a heart stopping kiss on him. As soon as their lips touch they can almost hear a sizzle of electricity. Dean feels his entire body relax and with his heart and soul he feels like he and Sam are one entity. It is as if their edges blurred and ran together like watercolors. At that moment the world only consisted of them. The kiss was not chaste, but it was not pornographic. They melded together with all the emotions they felt for each other. It was only a few seconds, but it was an eternity in their minds. They lived in that bubble of perfectness. As soon as the skin of their lips broke contact they panted with foreheads touching. A sighing sound from the hall makes them look and see Cas beaming at them.

“I can’t believe it took this much to get you both to this place. I didn’t know that both of you resisted your true feelings that much. I have watched you both for a very long time and never realized just how stubborn you two are.” He walks up and touches both of their foreheads and the world greys out and they are in a motel room looking very confused. 

“It took a very long virtual time to get you both to wake up and realize that you love each other, and it is beautiful.” Cas is now in a familiar trench coat and blue tie.

“Wait Cas?! What the fuck was that?!” Dean is staring with his hard eyes at Cas and stalked towards him putting himself unconsciously between Cas and Sam.

“Calm down Dean. I needed to take you both to another world where you could realize without world ending distractions that you both love each other. It doesn’t matter that you are brothers. You both felt it but resisted it even without knowing you were brothers. Your true natures of self-sacrifice keep you from accepting and acting on it. Only worry for one another could get you to that place. I know that you guys live a life of distractions and disasters. I need you to understand that your love brotherly and not brotherly are the bond that keeps this broken world together. If you deny this love and fall away from each other it could mean disaster. Trust me you don’t want to see this world without you two to save it. Do you understand?” Cas’s eyes begging Dean to understand.

“Wait, our love for each other in that place was real?” He turns to Sam 

“Yes Dean, I have felt it all my natural life. I never tried because if I did and you hated me what would I do. I carried around that pain in the other world too. Without the burden of being your brother I knew that I needed your love to survive.” Sam is pleading with his eyes for Dean to love him.

“I don’t believe it. I have spent my life believing that it was a wrong and a horrible thing to feel. I didn’t want to abuse Sam, so I stuffed it down and it was rotting my soul.” Dean looks at the floor as a few tears fall on his boots.

Sam walks up to him and lifts his chin.

“Dean we have been fools for a long time. Everything I felt and said I meant and I don’t give a fuck if anyone else thinks Its wrong. We are the only ones who have a say in this. I need this love like air. Please just this once throw off your guilt and self-loathing and love me like I need you to.” Sam’s eyes green and amber are glowing with love and the warmth.

“Well I guess if angels can get past it I can too. What does Chuck think?” He just can’t stop the question from coming out.

“Dean he is your maker this was built in you from the start.” Dean’s eyes widen and when he understands his face is projecting the sheer joy of a child at Christmas. He laughs with his whole body and then hugs Cas and spins him around.

“Cas thank you!” Cas nods and teleports out leaving them alone.


	6. Exploring their love

Dean and Sam look at each other suddenly shy like kids at their first dance. Now that all the barriers were ripped away and their intentions plain they had choices to make. 

“Dean I know this is so much to digest now and I know I am starving. How about I get dinner and then we can talk?”

“I would love that. Remember the pie please?!” He grins at Sam with a little heat in his eyes. Promises for later.

“Be back soon.” Sam grabs the Impala keys and heads out.

Dean sits on the nearest bed and has too much to think about. He wants Sam so bad he is hard already. He knows that Sam loves him, now anything is possible. He decides on a nice hot shower to clear his head. 

He gets under the hot spray and lets it wash over his skin. The beaded droplets sliding over his shoulders making his muscles relax. He can’t stop imagining Sam naked and moaning under him. He wants to worship every inch of skin. He needs to taste him and make him come apart under his strong hands. 

He moans and takes himself in hand. He closes his eyes and strokes slowly as he imagines Sam’s mouth on him. He can feel his hands carding through Sam’s hair slowly as he watches him bobbing on his cock. Groaning again he starts to stroke faster as he sees himself entering Sam and feeling his silky heat surrounding him. He puts his head on the tiles as he pumps faster lost in thoughts of Sam. He is heading into a huge orgasm. He whispers Sam’s name over and over. He cries out as he splatters the tiles. He pants for a minute feeling like he is floating. 

He washes up and comes out to put on his clothes. Glad Sam didn’t catch him doing that but also that he might last a while if he gets lucky later. He doesn’t want to push Sam to anything physical, but he can hope. 

Just as he is turning on the TV as a distraction Sam comes back with the heavenly aroma of cheeseburgers with bacon and extra onions. There is also the smell of cherry pie. Dean moans and heads to the table grabbing his sack from Sam and digging in. 

Neither of them talks as they enjoy their meals. Dean sits back with a full belly and burps. Sam gives him the bitchface but can’t hold it as a happy Dean is a beautiful sight. He doesn’t see Dean so sated and relaxed very often and it is a sight.

“Got a shower in huh?” Sam feels like he hasn’t washed in forever, so he gets up to head in.

“Don’t take too long in there I saw Die Hard coming on next and I want to see it.” Dean calls after Sam but his grin after the door closes is predatory. He has a plan and it is a good one. 

Sam takes a nice shower and decides against jacking it because Dean is out there and might make fun of him. He comes out with a towel and doesn’t see Dean. His senses feel like someone is behind him just before Dean grabs his towel and pulls. 

Dean crows with triumph as he backs up toward the beds. Sam is irritated he is naked and getting cold. He notices a second later that Dean is buck ass naked. 

His jaw drops as he takes in the absolute god that is his big brother. He has seen Dean naked before, but he has never really seen him before not like this. His cock is at attention and thick. It has a small grouping of freckles and that is weirdly erotic. His body is lean but not skinny. His stomach flat but not cut. He is in Sam’s eyes perfect. 

All the freckles to trace with his eyes. He licks his lips as he thinks about tracing them with his tongue. His hand twitches to touch him but he is still drinking all this in as if Dean will disappear at any moment. 

“Wow Dean you are so beautiful.” He whispers as If talking too loudly will break this moment in time.

Dean is grinning, but he too has not really looked at his baby brother like this before. His broad shoulders and tapered waist. He is cut and defined unlike Dean but his bronze skin glows with an inner light. His cock is hard now too and long. Sam is uncut and that is beautiful to Dean. He can’t stop staring.

“Sammy, you are perfect. Can I touch you?” Dean must ask he doesn’t ever want to do anything Sam doesn’t want him to.

Sam nods suddenly shy under Dean’s praise. Sam walks to Dean and they spend time tracing each other’s skin. Sam starts with Dean’s jaw so sharp and so rugged. He looks at Dean’s emerald eyes starting to be swallowed by his pupils. He watches as his fingers run down to Dean’s pulse point at his throat. He goes down Dean’s chest to his treasure trail and as his fingers skim to the glorious thick cock Dean grunts and it jumps under his fingers. Dean had been tracing Sam’s stomach, but he also reached out and stroked Sam’s cock and they both moaned.

Sam gets down on his knees and takes Dean in his mouth.

“Fuck Sammy.” He lets Sam explore with his tongue reverently and slowly. He runs his fingers in Sam’s hair as if his secret fantasy is coming true. Seeing himself disappear in Sam’s mouth is making him dizzy. Sam starts moaning as he takes him deeper but as soon as he starts to gag he pulls back leaving a trail of spit. 

If Dean hadn’t jacked it already he would have cum so hard at that sight. He grabs Sam by the shoulders and pulls him up into a kiss. As their mouths joined they shivered as they felt exactly what they had in Cas’s world. 

They were one being and nothing else mattered. Dean slid his tongue against the seam of their lips gently and Sam opens with a moan. Dean explores Sam’s mouth with his tongue. Sam loves the feel of Dean and he pushes his cock against Dean’s stomach and feels the jump of Dean’s cock at the contact. They break apart panting and Dean growls out a command.

“Sammy, I need you please. I want to be inside you.” Sam nods and lays down on the bed suddenly nervous. He hasn’t had the same sex life Dean has so he is worried Dean won’t be happy. Dean kisses him again because he can read Sam like a book and sees his worry. He puts all his love in the kiss and Sam melts all thoughts gone. 

Dean moves down his chest kissing as he goes licking his nipples and sucking them to peaks while Sam writhes beneath him. He licks and sucks down his stomach and makes sure to nip at his hip bones only inches from Sam’s leaking cock. It is making a pool on his stomach and Dean goes back up to lick at the pool and groans at the taste of Sam. 

He moves lower and avoids the major parts to get to his goal. He puts Sam’s legs on his shoulders and licks his hole slowly with a flat tongue. Sam jumps a little at the contact but the noises he makes tell a story of someone being taken apart piece by piece. 

Dean licks and sucks getting the skin nice and wet and softened up. Sam can’t form sentences but from his lips fall pleads and partial words. Every sound goes straight to Dean’s cock. He is glad it is trapped against the bed, so he has a little friction. He speeds up opening Sam but not too fast he doesn’t think Sam has every had anal sex before. As that fact worries around in his brain he raises his head.

“Sammy have you ever done this before?” Sam opens his eyes and the trust and love in them make Dean feel so amazed at how much his brother has been through and still he will follow Dean anywhere.

“No but I want you Dean.” Sam is croaking out the words as he pants for air.

Dean nods and goes back to work slowing down again. He must make sure not to hurt Sam. He starts penetrating Sam with his tongue gently and he can feel Sam relaxing under his touch. He starts by reaching for the lube he left nearby and getting his finger ready. 

He inserts it slowly just to the first knuckle to test Sam out. He watches his face for any pain, but Sam is in heaven. His face is relaxed, and Dean goes on. He gets in a second finger and slowly scissors him open. 

Plenty of lube and a few minutes later he thinks Sam is ready. He gets on his knees and lubes himself up as Sam watches ready for Dean. He gets Sam’s legs situated his knees toward his chest and begins to slowly slip inside Sam’s hot and lubed hole. 

Sam groans as soon as Dean’s head clears his hole. His face is showing lust pure and simple, so Dean keeps pushing in. He is trying to be slow, but he wants to be fully inside Sam. Once he has bottomed out he holds still panting. 

Sam is so full of cock and he loves it he has never felt so satisfied in his whole life. He is adjusting, and the burn is fading he looks up at Dean who is patiently waiting always watching out for his little brother. 

Sam nods and Dean starts a slow rhythm testing out how Sam likes it best. Sam moans a little at the gentle strokes but when he goes a little faster Sam begins to curse and beg. Dean picks up the pace and angles to brush Sam’s prostate. He knows when he gets it as Sam has a mini seizure.

“DEAN there please FUCK!” Sam knew an orgasm was building but when Dean started to rub his prostate he was hit hard by it. He cum’s untouched screaming Dean’s name. His cum is on him and Dean and he feels like the pleasure will never end. 

Dean is still fucking him hard, but he is losing his strong strokes as Sam is locked up around him and so tight. He leans down and kisses Sam as he bottoms out. The touch of Sam’s lips makes him go over the edge. He pulses deep inside Sam and they both concentrate on breathing for a bit, so they can come down from on high. Dean slides onto his side facing Sam’s chest and he traces the path of scars there.

“Sammy, I am so glad that we have a friend like Cas. We are both too stubborn for our own good.” He kisses Sam and then rolls over on his back as his eyes are starting to slip closed.

“Dean I love you!” Sam throws the covers over them as he drifts off as well.

Cas pops in and is so glad he was able to make them understand. Now he must stay close because what is coming will test this new bond. Cas vows to be there to help them through it all. He makes sure they are tucked in before he teleports off to tell Anna all about this. After he is gone Dean turns on his side and pulls Sam in closer even in sleep he must protect Sam.


End file.
